Austin and Ally Facts
by KR Blake
Summary: In which Trish and Dez handcuff Austin and Ally together to make them better partners. For Katie.


**For Katie. **

**I'm still waiting on the hospital documents that will finally prove we are long lost triplets with Laura. **

**But I don't think we need official documents to prove _that_. **

* * *

Austin and Ally.

They would seem like the perfect two, right?

That's what one would have thought.

And they were perfect.

Separate, that is.

Austin was a perfect performer. He knew how to charm the crowd without flaw. He could just hum a single note, and any audience would be awestruck.

Ally was a perfect songwriter. All you had to do was give her some kind of inspiration—even if it were just one word that has some kind of significance to her—and she could write a song about it. And my damn, that song would be perfect. She just had a way with words like no one else.

But when you put the two together… they were a little less than perfect.

Dez would argue that the reason was they were always afraid of hurting each other's feelings—both Austin and Ally were sensitive when it came to their respective fields of expertise. He thought they were just dancing around each other carefully, afraid that one of them might upset the other and prompt them to leave.

Trish would argue that they simply weren't close enough to work perfectly together. After all, the best partners had to be like one big hermaphroditic blob, right? Completely open with one another.

But whatever the reason was, they weren't working together. They weren't in sync like good partners should have been.

Which was how Austin and Ally ended up handcuffed to one another.

* * *

"Dez, what the hell?!" Austin practically shrieked in Ally's ear as his best friend scampered away from his arm lashing out (the one that wasn't attached to Ally's, that is).

"Sorry, man," Dez shrugged, ignoring Austin's profuse swears under his breath and Ally's silent death glares. "But you guys… just aren't working. This is strictly for the good of Team Austin."

"But was it really necessary to _handcuff us together?!_" Austin persisted, flailing his handcuffed arm in the air, dragging Ally's arm with it. Ally switched her glares from Dez to Austin, though the blonde boy took no notice. He was too busy flailing their arms in the air, trying to prove his point.

"It was either that or sew your pants together, and my switching isn't the best, so I went with Plan B." Dez said simply, making Ally freeze and turn her eyes questioningly to her best freckled friend.

"Umm… Dez?" she asked carefully. "You weren't _really_ going to sew our pants together, right?"

"Sure…" he nodded mysteriously and walked off into the mall agora without another word.

And thus began what was easily the toughest part of Austin and Ally's relationship—getting to know one another.

* * *

The beginning was relatively easy—it wasn't different from their regular days when Ally was working at Sonic Boom. Just… a bit closer is all.

Instead of standing on opposite sides of the counter, they were forced to stand on the same side, though Austin stayed as far away from her as possible (if a foot away counted as "_as far away as possible_".)

He was still pulled closer every time she reached across the counter to give a customer their change. She would glare at him and elbow him away every time he knocked her.

He was still pulled closer when she would run around the store faster than a girl her size should have been able to, dusting the instruments or straightening the displays. And every time he was pulled into her, she would glare in that exact same way and tell him to watch where he's going.

And that started his mental list of "_Ally Facts_".

She liked her personal space except from certain people. And he wasn't one of those certain people.

* * *

They did what Austin wanted next.

"Do we really need to be here?" Ally whined loudly, looking around the beach in distress. "I hate the beach."

Austin smirked, leaning back on their towel, looking around. A few girls caught his eye, but not nearly enough to prompt him to do more than send a flirtatious wink to them across the sand. Besides, he'd have no shot with any girls with Ally attached to his arm. So he just smiled and basked in the sunshine.

"Well, suck it up, buttercup." He said blatantly. "If we're going to be stuck together for a while, we're going to have to compromise on some things. Like where we hang out."

She made a distressed huff and crossed her arms (albeit, a little deliberately) over her chest, yanking his arm out from underneath him. He fell back onto the towel (which was more painful than it sounds), once again dragging her down with him. She landed with an _oof_, half on top of him and half on the towel.

To her, it wouldn't have been so bad, had they both not been in their bathing suits, or, at least, if Austin's had included a shirt. But no. It was as bad as it could have been.

"You just can't keep your hands off me, can you?" Austin smirked as she squirmed against him. She shoved her elbow into his gut.

"Shut up." She muttered evilly, her cheeks blazing brightly with a blush. She sat up quickly, scooting off him and looking away, nervously chewing her hair.

'_Ally Fact number two,_' Austin noted. '_She gets nervous easily._'

* * *

Ally got to choose their next "_bonding activity_".

And after the beach, she wasn't going to go easy on her partner.

"The library?" Austin complained. "Really? Just kill me now, why don't you?"

"Oh, be quiet." Ally chastised him, dragging him towards the fiction section. "It's not _that_ bad."

"Ally, it's the _library_." He insisted. "Of _course_ it's that bad."

She rolled her eyes and snatched a book off the shelf. "Just read this and quit complaining. I happen to like it here."

"That's because you don't know the definition of fun." He muttered, but opened the hardcover book to the first pages anyways. "'_The Adventures of Tom Sawyer_'." He read aloud. "Never heard of it."

"Of course you haven't." she remarked sarcastically, shoving the book closer to his face. "Just read while I pick out a new book."

He rolled his eyes dramatically, but began reading anyways.

Ally watched in interest as he read those first few pages. At first, he looked bored, only concentrating hard when he stumbled across a word he didn't know. But slowly he saw that same look adorn his face as he was sucked into the book that she often wore when reading. She smirked.

She went back to choosing out a new book, but not before starting her own list of Austin Facts.

'_Fact One: He likes Mark Twain_.'

* * *

They sat at the piano, side by side, using the hands that weren't cuffed together to play with the keys on the instrument.

It had been three days since Dez had handcuffed them together, and it hadn't been easy. They'd had to have sleepovers every night, and help each other get dressed in the mornings (though Ally had made strict rules about _that_).

And as much as they didn't want to admit it, but Dez and Trish's plan had begun to work. They _had_ learned so much about one another. Like, Austin had learned that Ally absolutely refused to us _Colgate_ toothpaste. She was strictly a _Crest_ toothpaste girl. And Ally had learned that Austin always had to have his socks matching his shirt.

But they had also learned more… detailed things about one another than they would have had they not been forced to spend the past 72 plus hours together.

Like, Ally had reasons for all her rules in life. She liked to have total control over all she could. She didn't like much change. She could never handle big changed.

And Austin always had this irrational fear that the second he left someone angry—the second he left an argument he should have apologized for—they would leave him forever, and he would never get to say he was sorry. So he never left someone angry. He never could.

"Here, put your finger on the A key; I wanna try something." He said with a mischievous grin.

"Um, okay?" she said, putting her finger down on the piano key. He dragged his arm across the keyboard, dragging her arm with it, making her finger hit every key on the piano in a wonderful spectrum of sounds. She giggled and played along, jingling her fingers on the last few keys in a nice crescendo to their odd tag teamed "_song_," for lack of a better word.

"How long did that take you to figure out?" she asked, resting their attacked hands on the piano.

He shrugged. "I was just thinking about it last night."

"Weren't you supposed to be sleeping?" she raised an eyebrow.

"But sleep seems so… menial when you could spend that time thinking, no?" he countered easily. She nodded and went back to playing with the keys, adding one more thing to her mental list.

'_Fact number twenty-three: He would rather spend his time thinking than sleeping._'

* * *

It's been a week and a half now, and thank God it's summer vacation, because Austin didn't think he'd be able to do this during the school year.

He had had no idea.

How easily she became anxious, and how easily things could get to her.

How she wasn't as thick skinned as she seemed to be.

"Ally, I promise, it'll be okay." He said into her hair, kissing her forehead. "I promise she'll come back to you."

"How do you know?" she snapped through her tears. "For all you know, she could be being torn apart by rabid gorillas right this very minute."

Austin chuckled, pulling away from their hug for a second to look her in the eyes. "Ally, I promise you, your mother will not be torn apart by rabid gorillas. It's just the Amazons. Not an _Indiana Jones_ movie."

"You don't know that." She persisted.

"No, I don't." he admits. "But I do know that if there were any chance that she might be killed, your mother would fight like hell to get to one last place before she goes."

"Where's that?" Ally asks, confused.

"Wherever the hell you are." He stated simply.

She nodded and stood up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek before wrapping her one non-handcuffed arm around him in a hug.

He returned the hug, burying his nose in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes. As he hugged her, he made three new contributions to his list—the largest contribution so far.

'_Ally Fact number 56: She had the softest lips._'

'_Ally Fact number 57: Her hair smelled like wildflowers._'

'_Ally Fact number 58: She needed me now._'

* * *

Two weeks to the day, and Dez and Trish were counting down the days to releasing their friends from their handcuffs.

Trish had wanted to release them earlier; she thought they were close enough. But Dez had stopped her. She asked him why, but he just got this mischievous glint in the corner of his eye as he watched them across the food court, sharing a meal at _Mini's_. He wouldn't say why. He just pressed that they had to stay handcuffed for a little while longer.

Trish agreed, silently praying that this wasn't one of his half-baked bozo plans again.

But make no mistake; Dez Parks was no bozo.

He knew what he was doing.

* * *

"Austin, you're missing the point." Ally laughed. "It wasn't degrading for Twain to describe women like that. That's how women were genuinely viewed in that time period."

"Well it's disgusting." Austin countered. He had just finished plowing through _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_ in two days, trying the whole while to ignore Ally's pointed comments on how the book was supposed to be "_boring_" and "_not under the definition of fun_".

"Women should never be viewed like that." He stuck a fry in his mouth to prove his point.

"Oh, really? I never would have guessed." She said sarcastically, stealing the next fry that was directed towards his mouth and popping it into her own, smiling. "That's just how it was, Austin. There's nothing we can do to change history."

"Well, _I'll_ never treat you like that." He said, and she nodded. "I promise."

"I know you won't, Austin." she said. "You never break your promises."

That was fact thirty-two, after all.

This, however, added a new fact to her list. '_Fact number 65: He'll never treat me like crap._'

* * *

Two weeks and three days.

To the minute.

That's how long it took for Austin to become comfortable enough to hold her tiny hand, and how long it took for Ally to become close enough to squeeze tighter.

Two weeks and three days.

They both added new facts to their lists that day.

'_Ally Fact number 72: Her fingers fit best in my hand when they were intertwined with my._'

'_Fact number 74: He would only smile that way at me._'

* * *

Three weeks and one day.

That's when they were finally released.

He had leaned down and kissed her, and suddenly, their hands were released.

She snapped away from him and looked down, embarrassed, to Dez, who knelt on the ground, holding their handcuffs.

"Dez!" she shrieked, her face growing redder and redder by the minute. But he didn't notice. He just stood, dusted off his colourful pants, and walked away, waving the handcuffs over his shoulder.

"You're welcome!" he said happily. His plan had worked. Trish had said they were comfortable enough days ago. But Dez Parks was no bozo. He had seen they had room for improvement.

Austin rolled his eyes and turned back to Ally, smiling. Without a word, he wrapped both his arms around her waist and pulled her close. After three weeks and one day, they really didn't need to speak anymore.

They just did because they liked the sound of each other's voices.

But other than that, their own lists of facts did all the work.

And as Austin pressed his lips lightly to Ally's, both of their lists added one more thing.

But for the first time, it was the same thing.

'_Austin and Ally Fact number one: I don't know what the hell I was doing without you._'

* * *

**See, Katie? I told you it was a bit bad. This is what I get for finishing this at 1:34 AM. Well, at least I finished it. **

**KR Blake Ω **


End file.
